Real
by lil kagome 15
Summary: Misao's desperate to find Aoshi... Yet she doesn't know if it's Aoshi she's finding or just her dreams of having him again... Will she find the real thing in time? Or will she be forever left in the darkness of clouded reality?
1. Dreams Reality

**Title: **Real

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rurouni Kenshin 'nor any of the characters, nor the song which I give full credit to evanescence for. So I do not own anything except my plot line that I do not. Thanks Kenshin, but I own it… This is my fic remember, so next time just let me do the disclaimer kay? Kay.

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The faith she had once had, was now lost. She sat alone in the town she had followed him to this time. How long would this go on? So long ago it had been, maybe he had changed, maybe he didn't remember her anymore… Her tears fell no more. Her eyes dried by the need to run, run from what used to be. And yet she found herself following 'him', '_Her _Aoshi'. Her heart was no longer as it used to be. She looked down at the cold ground below her. Something completely captivating was the change in the atmosphere. It was getting colder, the leaves falling from the trees. Her eyes captured every detail of the subtle changes. She didn't want to forget! Not when this was her reason, her reason for waking each day.

**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
Maybe someday you'll look up,  
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:  
"Isn't something missing?"**

When she had left the Aoi-ya she had found her heart broken. Just the thought of Okina reading her note, the saddest note she had ever written. Now as she sat here her eyes glazed over in thought, she could hardly imagine her heart ever again being whole. Her eyes scanned the area again, maybe, just maybe, she would see him again, and she desperately wanted to just hold him again. But she knew that the truth was, he wasn't willing to love her. Her eyes become liquid as she saw a man walk over, for it was not he, not her one and only love. She found herself remembering again that eclectic smile she saw but occasionally, and yet she had it etched permanently and perfectly in her mind.

**You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
You forgot me long ago.  
Am I that unimportant...?  
Am I so insignificant...?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me**?

She could only hope that even the smallest part of him remembered her. That he would someday find that he had left behind something more than just old scars, and deadly memories. He had left her. And although it might have been very vein to say so, he should have realized this by now. She opened her eyes back up to find herself alone once more. That smile she had found so easily before now was lost in the shadow of following him. She had given up so much, so much just to love him. And yet he didn't give her the slightest chance. She promised herself never to cry, after all Aoshi never did. At least not in front of her, for so long she thought him strong for this, but now she knew how it felt. She felt so weak, so un-trusting of anyone around her. They were all suspects now, 'cause he tainted her mind like the addictive drug he was he took her over.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**

She knew that she would always have a place at the Aoi-ya but she didn't feel ready yet. She found herself fumbling with a bag; she untied it and took out the thin frame of a photograph. It was her only remaining relic of her old life, all else had been abandoned along with her heart. She found herself tracing the outline of the smooth wood. It was so cold and soothing to the touch. It didn't come to a surprise when she suddenly teared up. "So many lies." She said allowed and put it back into her bag. She couldn't dwell any longer on something that couldn't be helped. Her eyes wondered once more up the road.

**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
I know what you do to yourself,  
I breathe deep and cry out,  
"Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?"**

She saw him, he was walking her way, but she didn't move. He stood rigid, clearly he had seen her, she didn't know what he would do next, but she hadn't expected this. He ran toward her. And she just looked up at him, her eyes unsure if he was real or not. "Misao?" He asked and she burst into tears. He was real, this was her _Aoshi-sama, _the one who had stole her heart so unknowingly. He bent down and gathered her broken form in his arms. "Your real! Your really here!" She cried and he nodded into her shoulder. "I'll never leave you again." He said and she pushed back. "Why do you make such a promise?" She asked just as he looked down at the ground.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**

"Fool! I have been a true fool! My Makimachi Misao, I want you in my life again! Please!" He said and she looked at him rather perplexed. "The real Aoshi would never say that." Came her sad voice and she found herself awaking on her soft bed once again alone. The dreams faded and she found herself lost in the trance of reality and unjust taunting. They were becoming far more vivid. She found herself sometimes confused upon waking. She couldn't take the dreams anymore. Her heart was pounding and she let her tears fall gently into her pillow. He had felt so real this time, like that of her own _Aoshi-sama_. She couldn't help but lose herself once more to her uncontrolled sobs. Nothing more than holding him once again would take this pain away, wash away the bitterness of the taste of loss. She didn't wipe the tears away from her face as she went to look upon the town she was now residing in. Her eyes closed as the sound of music wafted through the creaky walls.

**And if I bleed, I'll bleed,  
Knowing you don't care.  
And if I sleep just to dream of you  
I'll wake without you there,  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't something...**

She found herself falling into the music, the music so like her heart, slow yet ever so meaningful. Her heart felt like a cold weight that she now carried around with her everywhere. She ran her palm against the wall. It was raining outside. She found now that she loved the rain more and more each day, it seemed to fall without any meaning at all to it, just doing what it was pre-destined to do. There was no feeling of utter helplessness. She found herself wishing she could be like the rain. No purpose except to do what is expected. To do what every other one was doing. She found herself falling to the floor. Her eyes filled with tears once more. She thought they had gone long ago, but they had not. They still came, just as heavy as before. Her dreams, they were her haven, for in them she saw his face. The face of the only one she would ever love. Yet she found that she slept the better part of the day, to just not have to face reality of not being able to see him. His eyes, those glass blue eyes. They were her only desire at this moment.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**

The past, it wasn't the past any longer, it was her present blended so finely with her future. He was her undying will to go on. She found herself falling into the past, the past so pleasant. She was naïve of the world. But what was she now? What could she have possibly gained? What was this feeling that arose within her so un-stable a feeling. Like at any moment she would just snap. Would this be her end? Would this be the ending of her over-played game, of her over read story. Had she lost her mind in leaving the Aoi-ya? Or was this just her heart feeding her lies again. She found herself standing alone on the ground of the cold outside. She looked up to see the form of a man she once 'thought' she knew. He stood there and not too quickly came to her. "Misao?" He asked and she didn't want to hear it again. "Leave me the hell alone!" She screamed her tears falling and she found herself hitting him. He felt so much warmer than usual, so much more muscular, and so much more real. But she wouldn't be fooled again. "Please, just leave me alone, please!" She said sobbing. "Oh Misao!" He said holding her tight to him. This couldn't be real! It just couldn't be! She found herself giving into his embrace. Be damned if this was a dream, she couldn't fight it any longer. She cried into his chest and he held her closer. She felt warm for the first time in months. Her heart felt light and began to flutter as it used to do in it's days of living. Could this be? Could he be real? She didn't want to know, she just wanted to hold him. "Come Misao, you're freezing cold!" He said and picked her up. He carried her to her bed in the far side of the small hut. She didn't want to lose him. So she held on. She held on… She held on to the real… Her reality.

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**A/N: **First One-Shot so how'd I do?


	2. Authors Note

**A/N: **I have made a series of sequels that run off of this story, no connections are for sure insinuated, but it's all in the theory. 'Real' is now a series of four short one-shots. To find and or read the other's either go to my profile, or look them up. Some have yet to be uploaded so do not worry if you cannot find them.

**Twenty Questions- **Rated-R(M)

**Painful Secrecy- **Rated-PG13(T)

**Reality Dreams- **Rated-R(M)

There you go, they are in the exact order they take place. Thank you and ja!


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